Ignorance is Bliss
by rubyinthetardis
Summary: Rose knew she recognised the Doctor's new face from somewhere, and when she remembers, she's distraught. Oneshot set right after The Christmas Invasion.


**Hi everyone! I promise I haven't abandoned my other fic, I've just not had a lot of motivation for it lately and I've had loads of uni work but writing this has boosted my motivation again so the next chapter will hopefully be up soon! Anyway I hope you enjoy this little plot bunny I had.**

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From the moment the Doctor regenerated, Rose saw something oddly familiar in his face. The feeling only grew stronger the more she looked at him, but she couldn't quite place her finger on it. Christmas day was coming to an end, everyone was tired, full, and ready to call it a night.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep here, Doctor? You were so ill earlier today I just wonder if you need rest still." Rose asked, concern etched into her features. The Doctor smiled warmly and shook his head.

"I'm fine, Rose, really. The tea sorted me out, I'm right as rain now! Anyway, the TARDIS had a bit of a bumpy landing when we got here so I just want to make sure she's okay." Rose nodded in understanding, and the Doctor leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, night Doctor." Rose replied with a small smile before going to her bedroom, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow after such a long day.

 _It was new years 2005, Rose was walking back to the flat with her mum when she heard someone groan behind her. She turned around to see a tall, thin man with brown hair, a pinstriped suit and a trench coat leaning against a wall for support._

 _"You alright, mate?" She asked, assuming he was just knackered from a big new years eve bash._

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Too much to drink?" She replied, a small smile playing on her lips._

 _"Something like that."_

 _"Maybe it's time you went home."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Anyway," Rose said with a beaming smile, "Happy new year."_

 _"And you." Rose turned to walk away before he spoke again. "What year is this?" Rose turned around, surprised and amused at the odd question._

 _"Blimey, how much have you had?!" The man just bobbed his head and made a small noise, indicating he wasn't quite sure. "2005, January the 1st."_

 _"2005." He repeated, and Rose simply nodded in reply. "Tell you what. I bet you're gonna have a really great year."_

 _"Yeah?" Rose replied with a smile, and the man nodded back to her. "See ya." She said before running off home._

Rose jolted up in bed, tears silently falling down her face. That was him, that was the Doctor. Her Doctor. She finally remembered why his new face was so familiar. Why did he look like he was in pain, and more importantly, why wasn't she with him? Surely he wouldn't risk messing with timelines just to say happy new year, he must have really needed to see her. Rose was terrified about what all this meant, but she recognised that pain he seemed to be in, it was a pain she's only seen in him once before. Something told her he must have been badly hurt, he was going to regenerate, not only that but he'd regenerate alone. She checked her clock, it was 3 in the morning but there was no way she was going back to sleep, so she simply sat in her bed for hours thinking of all the possible things that could've happened to her and the Doctor.

The next morning Jackie was out shopping in the boxing day sales and Rose was sat watching films on the telly when the Doctor walked in.

"Right! The TARDIS is all fixed up now, so I'm ready to go when you are, Rose. Rose?" Rose was sat frozen, mouth slightly open, staring at his face with a look of terror. The Doctor walked up to where she was sitting and knelt down in front of her, snapping his finger in her face. "Rose? You with me?" He asked again, and Rose eventually shook her head, snapping out of it.

"Yeah! Yeah, sorry, want a cuppa?" She asked with the best fake smile she could plaster on her face.

"Yeah, go on then." The Doctor replied, following Rose into the kitchen looking slightly concerned. "Are you alright, Rose?"

"Yeah, fine!" She replied, avoiding eye contact with the Doctor as she sorted out the tea with haste.

"Are you sure? Because you just put a tea bag instead of water in the kettle and turned it on, it's not like you to mess up a cup of tea!" He joked, Rose groaned and turned the kettle off, tipping the tea bag into a mug and filling the kettle with water.

"Sorry." She mumbled as she went to get milk from the fridge, still avoiding eye contact.

"Hey." The Doctor said softly, gently grabbing her arm and turning her round. She was looking down at the floor, so he lightly tilted her chin up and she averted her eyes down. "Rose, look at me." Rose gave in and looked at him, but as soon as she did her eyes filled with tears at the memory of her dream.

"Sorry, I just need to um… got for a walk." She replied, shaking the Doctor's hand off her arm and quickly leaving the flat as he called after her. As she was speed walking out of the estate, she felt tears streaming down her face and she bowed her head hoping passers by wouldn't see. The Doctor ran after her, calling her name until he eventually caught up and grabbed her wrist, spinning her round.

"Rose, what's wrong?" He asked, brushing the tears away with his thumbs as he cupped her face. Rose was hesitant to talk at first but decided she had to say something.

"I… I know your face. I've met you before, I knew I recognised you but I didn't know where from but last night I had a dream of a memory and… and you were…" Rose's face crumpled as she let out a sob and found she couldn't say any more. The Doctor immediately pulled her in for a tight embrace, stroking her hair and whispering soothing words.

"Hey, it's okay, I've got you. I've got you. How about we go to the TARDIS where we can talk properly?" Rose simply nodded and allowed him to lead them to the TARDIS, his arm around her the whole time. When they got there, the Doctor led Rose to the library and they sat down on a sofa. "What happened in this memory that upset you so much, Rose?" Rose took a deep breath and told him all about it. The Doctor was speechless when she finished, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of something comforting to say for both their sake's, until Rose spoke again in a shaky voice.

"You were in pain, you were dying and you were all alone. I was gone, Doctor and that terrifies me. I never want to be apart from you, I could never leave you, something awful must've happened." She began sobbing again and the Doctor gathered her into his arms, pulling her onto his lap and rocking her. His hearts broke at the sight of this, he hated that he couldn't make it all better and take her pain away but he too was afraid about losing his best friend, his Rose.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I can't imagine what that must've been like to remember. But you don't know if, when and how I lost you, so let's try not to worry about this. I know that's easier said than done but Rose, my precious Rose I will never let you go and I will never stop protecting you. Whatever comes our way, we can handle it. There's no use worrying about what might happen in the future when what we have now is so wonderful and there's so much more I want to show you." Rose looked up to him and gave him a small smile, and the Doctor pressed a kiss to her forehead. She lifted her hand up and lightly touched his cheek.

"I'm never gonna leave you, Doctor." She said with a quiet but sincere voice. The Doctor was overwhelmed by his emotions for the woman in his arms, he couldn't comprehend how one human has given him such strong feelings. Not knowing what to say in return, he leaned down and kissed her. Rose froze in shock for a second, but relaxed and deepened the kiss, savouring the perfect moment until they eventually broke apart. She leaned her head on the Doctor's chest and listened to the soothing beats of his two hearts. "I hope I haven't messed up any timelines by telling you this." She said with a nervous laugh.

"Don't worry, I'm glad you told me, I wouldn't have wanted you to keep this to yourself." Rose hummed in agreement and let out a big yawn, the hours of missed sleep suddenly catching up with her. "Are you tired?" The Doctor asked.

"A bit, yeah, I didn't sleep after I woke up from the dream." She mumbled in reply, she started to get up but the Doctor gently gripped her and pulled her back to him.

"You go on to sleep, I'll carry you to bed." He explained as he got up, and carried her bridal style to her bedroom, placing her on her bed and tucking the duvet around her. He turned to leave but was stopped when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

"Stay, please, I don't want to be alone." Rose said softly, her sleepy eyes looking up at the Doctor with longing. The Doctor kicked his shoes off and took off his jacket before crawling into bed next to her. Rose shuffled close to him and rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace.

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure you're not alone, Rose Tyler." He said, and lightly kissed the top of her head. "Now go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." With that, her breathing became deeper, her head became heavier and the Doctor knew she was fast asleep.

The Doctor couldn't lie to himself, Rose's memory terrified him to his core. He always knew he would outlive Rose and one day lose her, but knowing it would be in this body made that fact far too real for him. He didn't want his time with Rose to be overshadowed by the knowledge that one day they will be separated, and he couldn't stand the idea of Rose being upset, so he made a decision to protect them both. He gently moved her off him so she was lying next to him, and lightly pressed his fingers on her temples. He erased the memory from 2005 and the conversation they just had, including the kiss, something he was disappointed about but he knew it was for the best.

"There we go, no more bad dreams." He murmured, and climbed out of the bed to go to the library where he erased the memory from his own head, deciding it was far too risky even knowing that brief segment of his future. A few hours later, Rose emerged looking dazed and confused.

"Doctor?" The Doctor's head snapped up in shock.

"Rose? What are you doing here? I thought you were at Jackie's."

"Yeah, so did I, but I woke up in my bed here…" She said, furrowing her brow.

"Oh well, you're here now! I've finished fixing up the TARDIS so we're ready to go when you are." He said with a grin and Rose's face lit up in response.

"Great! I think mum will want us to stay a few days longer though." The Doctor's face dropped to a pout.

"You and your domestics… Fine then, I'll be here when you're ready though."

"Oh no you don't mister, it's boxing day which means cheesy films on the telly. Come on you," She said with a cheeky grin, pulling the Doctor up from his chair as he let out a fake groan.

"Fine but if I'm force fed any more sprouts I'm taking you and your mother to the moon and leaving you there."

"It's a deal." Rose said with a giggle, and they walked to the flat hand in hand, blissfully unaware about their shared grievances only a few hours earlier.


End file.
